Qualities to Look for in a Husband
Looking for the guy you want to stick with for the long haul?
People often say you’ll just “know” when you’ve found the right one, like a light bulb flickering on! But let’s be real — sometimes what your head and heart want in a partner can be totally out of sync.
It’s super important to have standards when you’re hunting for your forever person. So, let’s dive into the key traits that make a great husband .
Why Should You Care About the Qualities of a Good Husband?
Let’s be real — dating isn’t about checking off a list of “perfect husband” traits. Sure, you might find someone who seems like a dream on paper, but that doesn’t always mean you’ll have that magic connection or deep chemistry.
So, don’t treat this as some foolproof formula. But hey, it’s still worth considering.
If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of dating the wrong guys, it might be time to take a step back and reflect. Maybe it’s not just bad luck.
You could be overlooking red flags from the start, simply because you’re not tuned into spotting them.
Understanding what makes a great husband might help you see where things have been going off track and give you a clearer picture of what a solid, long-term partner really looks like.
So, What Are the Qualities?
He’s Got a Strong Base
We’re not talking about houses here. It’s about being solid in different areas of life — physically, emotionally, socially, financially, and having a sense of purpose.
That doesn’t mean he has to be the most popular, richest, fittest, or most successful person out there. But he should be able to stand on his own in each area of life or be working towards it.
These strengths are great for your partner and you too. Being with someone who takes care of their own well-being means you won’t have to constantly boost their self-esteem or confidence.
He Knows How to Communicate
You know the saying, communication is key. It’s not just about your partner being able to speak their mind — they also need to really listen to what you have to say.
Sharing your feelings and needs clearly makes things better in the relationship. Partners who are good communicators make life easier. You don’t have to guess what they mean or want.
Good communication doesn’t just happen overnight, but things like regular check-ins can help keep it on point.
He Shares Your Values
No couple is going to see eye-to-eye on everything all the time — where’s the fun in that? But being on the same page about the important stuff in life really matters.
Like, how you might want to raise kids or if giving back is part of your life goals together.
Sure, you can influence each other on some things, but starting with shared values gives you a solid foundation.
They Show You Respect
Aretha Franklin nailed it — everyone needs respect. But it’s not about your partner respecting you more than themselves.
He should consider your opinions, values, and feelings, and act accordingly. And he should respect your personal boundaries too. Each partner has to agree not to cross those boundaries, no matter how upset or angry they get.
Getting respect helps you keep your self-respect intact and reminds you of your own worth.
He’s Empathetic
Empathy means being able to recognize and understand someone else’s feelings and needs.
It might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but empathy is a big deal in relationships. A 2022 study found that empathy is tied to relationship satisfaction.
Empathetic partners tend to feel more lonely and insecure if they’re unhappy in their relationship, compared to those who lack empathy.
Having an empathetic partner helps us feel heard and understood. It not only makes the relationship more fulfilling but also builds trust and respect.
He Owns His Imperfections
This isn’t about someone who thinks they’re perfect and never tries to improve. Instead, these folks can see their flaws without beating themselves up, says Kret.
If your partner can do this, it benefits both of you. They’ll have the confidence and self-love to admit when they’ve messed up.
Plus, they’ll create a safe space for you to be imperfect too, and they’re less likely to shift blame.
He’s Open to Your Influence
Some partners are like, “My way or the highway.” Ever dealt with someone who knows what you want but just won’t give it to you?
But when someone’s open to considering your needs and opinions, it’s crucial. It boosts your self-worth and respect, and it makes you feel important to them.
He Shows Affection in Your Way
Everyone has their own style of showing and receiving affection — some are all about hugs, others prefer acts of service. But if your styles don’t match, it can lead to frustration.
Find a partner who shows appreciation and love in a way that clicks with you. This idea is one of the basics behind The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
He Listens and Stays Open During Arguments
If your partner doesn’t listen during a fight and just waits to speak, it doesn’t help solve problems.
Plus, when your point of view isn’t valued, it can lead to frustration, resentment, and feeling unseen.
Staying open and curious lets you take in more information and see new perspectives. This is super helpful when working through tough times.
What to Do If My Husband Doesn’t Have These Qualities?
So, you’re realizing your husband might not check all those boxes — don’t panic! Relationships aren’t perfect, and people grow at different rates. The good news is that it’s never too late to work on things together. Here’s what you can do:
- Start with an open conversation. Share how you’re feeling, but avoid sounding like you’re blaming him. Focus on how you can grow together as a team.
- Talk about the areas where you both could improve. Maybe it’s better communication, showing more empathy, or being more supportive. Setting goals as a couple can make the process feel less overwhelming.
- Sometimes, the best way to encourage change is by showing it. If you want more open communication, start by being more open yourself. If empathy is the issue, make sure you’re also practicing it.
- There’s no shame in getting a little outside help. Couples therapy can be a great way to get on the same page and work through any challenges together.
- Change doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient with each other and celebrate the small wins along the way.
- Don’t forget why you fell in love in the first place. Focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship can help keep things in perspective while you work on the areas that need a little more love.
If both of you are willing to put in the effort, you can navigate through those murky waters together, even if the journey takes a bit of extra work.
What Are the Signs of a Bad Husband?
Okay, so we’ve talked about what makes a good husband, but let’s be honest, not every guy is going to check every box. And that’s totally fine! But before you start worrying that your man might not be “husband material” just because he isn’t perfect, let’s dive into what really makes a bad husband. Spoiler alert: It’s more serious than forgetting your anniversary or not planning fancy date nights.
Controlling or Possessive Behavior
If your husband tries to dictate what you wear, who you hang out with, or even where you go, that’s a huge red flag. You deserve a partner, not a warden. And let’s be clear, there’s no reasoning with someone like this because they’re not interested in listening.
Over-the-Top Jealousy
If your husband loses it every time you talk to another guy — whether it’s the cashier or your coworker — it’s not just annoying; it’s toxic. No amount of reassurance is going to change a guy who constantly accuses you of cheating.
Taking You for Granted
Imagine your current boyfriend as your husband. If you see him treating you like a personal assistant rather than an equal partner, it’s time to rethink things. You deserve someone who appreciates you, not someone who sees you as a maid, cook, or emotional punching bag. If he’s already taking you for granted and doesn’t change even after you’ve spoken up, it might be time to show him the exit.
Being Unfaithful
Cheating is a dealbreaker, plain and simple. There’s no excuse for adultery. If he truly respected you, he wouldn’t sneak around behind your back.
Conclusion
Marriage isn’t just about loving each other. When you commit to spending your life with someone, you’re going to need more than love to handle the tough times that are bound to pop up. But when your partner checks off most of the qualities you’d want in a husband and you know they’ll have your back through the years, those tough times become a lot easier to deal with.
Looking for the guy you want to stick with for the long haul? People often say you’ll just “know” when you’ve found the right one, like a light bulb flickering on! But let’s be real — sometimes what your head and heart want in a partner can be totally out of sync. It’s super important to have…