Finally liberated after decades of marriage, to a man she now refers to only as Voldemort, NHS sexual health doctor, Daisy Mae is ready to embark on a new life of adventure, dating and ‘protected’ fun. Unfortunately, the last time she was asked out on a date was in the 1980’s before Whatsapp, Tinder, Happn and Bumble existed, all meaningless words to her frankly middle-aged ears.
As a sexual health doctor Daisy Mae, more than most, has reason to be cautious about throwing herself head first into 21st century dating. With a little guidance, and encouragement, from her seventeen year old daughter Imogen, the ‘Amigos’ — her surrogate parents with a swanky house and swimming pool
— her friends Pinky and nonagenarian Jeannie, who sends her insightful romantic advice from their nursing homes, Daisy sets herself up on an online dating website in the hope that romance will soon follow.
But dating in the 21st century isn’t always easy and what begins as an innocent foray into the online world unravels in spectacular fashion. From decoding tech-language —did you know 531 meant sex?— to awkward first dates at Costa Coffee not to mention the odd, and unwelcome, explicit photo— Daisy is about to find out the exciting, cringeworthy and downright bizarre realities all too soon. Is the price of finding love online too high? Or can Daisy Mae swipe her way to success?
Join Daisy on her hilarious yet heartfelt adventure into modern dating for the middle-aged woman. Written as a personal diary Dating Daisy juxtaposes the mundane realities of getting older, and of the changing dynamics of relationships and marriage, with our never ending dreams of romance, affection and adventure. Having survived her own separation, the author brings a refreshing realism and depth to the character of Daisy, a woman who will delight fans of comedy and commercial fiction, making Dating Daisy the perfect companion this summer.
Published 27th July 2017 by Clink Street Publishing
When I first heard about this book, it sounded like a lot of fun. Having dabbled very briefly into the world of internet dating a few years ago (under the influence of lots of wine and a helpful ‘pal’) and hearing stories from friends who’d also given it a go, I decided quickly it wasn’t for me! However, there’s many a funny story to be told from the online quest for love, and also some real fairy tales, so I was pretty much sold on giving this book a go.
Fifty something Daisy is newly divorced, mum to an older teenager and missing companionship. When she decides to give internet dating a go, she isn’t sure what to expect. But, over a couple of months and a steady stream of inappropriate suitors, Daisy begins to loose hope. Dating Daisy follows her journey through the strange world of internet dating sites and is funny, cringy, endearing, a little bit sad and ever hopeful.
I loved the chatty, conversational tone of this book. It reads like a good old gossip with friends a lot of the time. Written in the first person, there’s a very personal note to the writing, making it feel that Daisy is talking to the reader herself. This means I found myself really attached to Daisy, she’s very very likable and I wanted the best for her.
Her observations and experiences of the site itself and the men she meets up with are hilarious. There’s a real charm and wit to this book, having me snorting out loud with laughter regularly. Most of the men are the somewhat predictable, not how they look in their photo’s, older and disappointing in real life with an air of desperation about them. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for a couple of them – they were really only lonely themselves and a bit desperate! It kind of drove home to me how people these days are constantly trying to present themselves as someone they are not online, and it made me a bit sad. Daisy’s own expectations when she met some of the guys in real life were also a bit unrealistic I feel and it felt a bit superficial, yet very, very real and relevant to our currant attitudes.
I really loved Daisy’s stories from her work as a Sexual Health Doctor. They were hysterical. Working in healthcare for many years, this type of humour REALLY appeals to me, and she managed to get the mix of hilarity and compassion just right so it didn’t feel she was mocking people. It was just very honest and yes. Funny.
Dating Daisy is a fun book, ideal for holiday reading. The chatty style is engaging and easy. There were a couple of times when I thought the chattiness veered into rambling as Daisy flits off topic, but on the whole this was an enjoyable quick read with lots of laughs and an endearing character you’ll be cheering on throughout.#BlogTour #BookReview Dating Daisy by Daisy Mae @AuthorightUKPR @Gilbster1000
Fifty-two-year-old Daisy, as she calls herself, is ready for a new relationship! After the nasty break-up of her marriage to ‘Voldemort’, she has also broken up with a man she met online and wants to move on. Another dating site, a new name and matching profile: Daisymae_224 is launched online! “Lively, out-going, fun-loving character,” that is who she is now.. or at least, what she has to live up to since she has already posted it! There is also a nice picture to go with her profile (a photo is mandatory, Daisy feels, as you just have to feel a spark before having a coffee together) and a list of do’s and don’ts at hand for anyone who passes the threshold of initial approval. Then lastly, of course, come the email box entry and her phone number. She gives herself a pep-talk and promises to be more choosy this time. Let us see who will respond and whether ‘he’ loves storytelling and stories as much as Daisy does!
| Storyline |
Daisy is convinced somewhere out there is her soul mate. He will love words as she does. He is funny, attractive, has fresh teeth and good breath (yes, she realises how important that is to her!). He will be her “social passport .. to exorcise the loneliness.” With the potential candidates for ‘man of her life’ we also learn to know what Daisy finds important and what not, what makes her heart tick and what she detests, for example, Morris dancers. Do not think Daisy hates dancing because she loves it! Her future partner should better not have two left feet because that could well be a deal breaker. While waiting for responses, Daisy tells us about her work as a doctor in Sexual Health, the problems she encounters and the tales she tells could well have you blushing!
Having posted the profile online, Daisy goes to bed in “fevered anticipation” of what the next day might bring – the “first day of the rest of her life.” She describes her possible lovers as DDP’s: Daisy’s Dating Possibilities) and, would you believe it, she numbers them. If only the men knew they were numbers to her, but there you go. DDP1 is ‘Lexicon of Love’ and whilst Daisy seriously doubts whether this candidate can fulfil his ambitious alias, she decides to send him a message as he appears to meet her standard (basic) requirements: two ears, ditto eyes, nose and mouth one each. While Daisy invents witty answers to the emails she receives, she shares with us her thoughts and the life of the woman behind the Daisy-mask, which includes her seventeen-year old daughter, Imogen. So, how many DDPs did Daisy actually date? That is for you to find out!
| My Thoughts |
I enjoyed the witty email exchanges and dates Daisy had with the different DDPs. The author writes in a funny, although repetitive, way, it almost feels like reading a diary. I am not sure what the purpose is of stating the chapter names within brackets though (after the chapter numbers within brackets “In which…). Whenever you think a potential candidate is very interesting and you want to know more, we are back with Daisy’s job as a doctor in Sexual Health and she relates yet another (although hilarious if you like these ‘fact-finding’ anecdotes) story from her daily practice. I felt the book too descriptive as Daisy kept telling us just about everything, even the Wikipedia definition of some of the words.
After a few chapters, I wanted to know all about the men and the fascinating world of internet dating and how to tell the truth from the lies. But then again, the tips and advice on various subjects and the stories about her work (witty as they were) interfered with her online progress and her personal life with her daughter and friends. However, if you like to read a novel about a lady in her mid-fifties trying to find her way around internet dating, love the chapters relating to her work as a doctor, and do not object to Daisy urging you to ‘read on’ many times, you will find ‘Dating Daisy’ an entertaining read and the author, the protagonist, an endearing woman. What I loved most about Daisy? That she carries with her in her handbag a poem destined for the special man who will capture her heart.Caroline Vincent
Today, I’m so pleased to be a part of the blog tour for Dating Daisy by DaisyMae_224 which was released by Clink Street Publishing on 27th July 2017.
Here’s a little about Dating Daisy…
What do you do when you’re a newly divorced 52-year-old mother, keen for a second chance of romance? Why internet dating of course! Daisy Mae_224 embarks on the internet dating process with trepidation.
Having not been on the dating scene for nearly 30 years, and with fairly rudimentary computer skills, she finds herself embroiled in a series of haphazard and hilarious situations.
Daisy keeps a diary of her internet dating life and reveals detail by detail, the ups and downs of her midlife dating extravaganza. Soon after starting out, Daisy realises her true mission. With no past experience and no-one/nothing to guide her, she needs to produce – Internet Dating lessons.
Read on to find out about PLONKERS, muppets and MAWDs, and a whole host of amusing anecdotes, tips and ideas. Working by day as a Sexual Health doctor, the story as it unfolds contains accounts of Daisy’s clinical experiences with patients in the Sexual Health clinic.
She also reflects on her past life with Voldemort (the dreadful ex-husband). With advice and encouragement from Imogen, her 17 year old daughter, her surrogate parents known as the Amigos, with a big house and swanky swimming pool, her friend Pinkie and from Jeannie, her nonagenarian friend from the Nursing Home, Daisy resiliently persists in her quest to find a long term partner.
This is a heartfelt story that will ring bells with anyone who has ended a long-term relationship and now wants to find somebody new. It is humorously written, full of emails, poems, limericks, and even a recipe!
Daisy can’t resist her pages of advice on topics like “Kissing” and “Anti-Snoring.” It is a unique and highly amusing book, which will make you laugh out loud! So read on and see. Will Dating Daisy find her “prairie vole?” Or will the whole process end in disaster?
Thanks to DaisyMae_224 and Clink Street Publishing, I have extracts from Dating Daisy to share. These also include notes from the author. Enjoy!
Dating Daisy is a humorous novel about Daisy, who aged 52, and newly divorced, plucks up the courage to start internet dating. It is a fiction book but based on the authors’ experiences. In between the dating, she works as a doctor in the Sexual Health Clinic. The book follows the up’s and down’s of this period in her life, and reveals some unpredictable, escapades, that may just make you laugh out loud!
In this first extract, Daisy has bravely done all that was required. With trepidation, as she has not had to think about any sort of dating for three decades, let alone advertise herself on the internet, she has actually completed the profile, uploaded the photo., and then went to bed to sleep on it. The next morning, full of anticipation she logs on, expecting to find a row of possible suitors.
Not one wink, smile, email or anything else. I am deflated.
Oh, wait a minute, 37 men have viewed me and one has listed me as a favourite.
One! Out of 37! How can I be so unattractive!
Didn’t I say rhinoceros earlier? Time to think of ugly mammals. Hopefully not because I’m one of them!, but because I have to behave like one. The thicker the skin the better. Didn’t the elephant get his saggy baggy skin by scratching it in the Limpopo River? I need to scratch mine somewhere. It’s getting very itchy.
“What’s wrong with me,” my brain asks Daisy. “Am I so ugly no one wants to speak to me?”
“Now come on,” says the brain, “there are lots of reasons nothing has happened – yet. And it is early.
“You only loaded your profile less than 24 hours ago. It has to be checked by Trust HQ!
“And anyway, remember men are like ostriches, they see a beautiful woman, they stick their head in the sand. You, Daisy, need to lead the way.
“Think about the men on BritainonSunday.com. The Britain on Sunday readers of the UK have just risen early, downed a cooked breakfast and boarded the 6.48 to Clapham Junction. They are probably only now unfurling the daily newspaper, and may not even yet have reached the dating section.
“And how many will be actually online-now? In the rush hour? Don’t be ridiculous!
“And those who do like you, may be shy, they may be poleaxed, frozen with desire, helplessly in love with the tantalising image in the red dress, but uncertain how to make the first move.
“Daisy, you will just have to make the first move yourself. Now what did I say?
“Dazzling, beautiful, smart and alluring.
“Be brave! The world CAN be your oyster.”
I chose this extract because disappointments when internet dating are all too common. This is fairly early on this story, and Daisy is quite dismayed to see that the man who gets off the train, is a different person to the one she saw in his photograph on the internet.)
Anyhow, I was now driving to meet Henry, this talkative, charming, perfect soulmate who wanted to be my teddy bear, and today Dating Daisy had a date. Nothing was going to get in the way. Jeremy took my love and threw it away. Jeremy is history.
I arrived at the station. The train was due in 20 minutes but it seemed the longest 20 minutes in history. He had texted that he was in the front of the train. I waited in the waiting room as it was very cold that day. I popped in to the ladies to brush my hair and apply a bit more lipstick. What would he think of me, this 53-year-old, Dating Daisy? I was aware that I had my love poem, Finding True Love, folded in a an envelope in my hand bag.
Would I, oh would I, in my wildest dreams, be able to give this to Henry?
The train slowed, a whistle blew, the doors opened. A lot of people were moving about, getting on and off the train. I scanned the front of the train for a tall, balding man with a smiley face.
But what was this. A carriage door opened and a man was smiling and walking towards me. But it wasn’t, it couldn’t be, Henry? I guessed it must be as he was hugging me and grasping my hand. I looked over his left shoulder as he enveloped me on that station platform. I am 5ft8½, and he is shorter than me.
Second lie. He didn’t look anything like his photo. The picture I had seen must have been a picture of someone else.
This man had had seriously bad acne, and had a very scarred face. Deep craters peppered his rough complexion. In addition, his cheeks had caved in, rather like an old person who has taken out their false teeth. I knew he didn’t have any hair, so that was not a surprise, but he was very, very bald. And you know what else? He was wearing a purple and green striped shirt over a pair of tatty jeans, and what had I said? No Morris dancers!
Daisy continues to work at her day job in the Sexual Health Clinic. The book is interspersed with anecdotes and stories from the clinic.
A patient made me laugh today.
She said, “Can I ask you something doctor?”
“Of course,” I said.
“The thing is, I keep getting this pain in my vagina.”
“Ok. Pain in the vagina?”
“Yes, I get it whenever I use two vibrators at once. Have you heard of that before?”
I considered this.
“Well, have you tried only using one vibrator at a time?” I said.
“Now there’s an idea,” she replied.
People can be very strange!
Daisy decides early in the book that she wishes someone could give her advice on how to do the internet dating. If only there was a course, or a self help guide. So she decides to use her experiences to help other people new to the dating scene and complies a list of internet dating lessons. Here are the top 5 listed below:
Dating Daisy’s Internet Dating Lessons
Rule 1. Start this whole caboodle with a very deep breath. It will be a marathon and not a sprint.
Rule 2. My advice is to be totally honest. Don’t lie about your age, or use someone else’s photo. It will only end in tears at a later date.
Rule 3. Make an effort with your own profile. You can’t blame the guy at the other end for having a blank page, if yours is pretty similar. Think about how you want to come across, mine was dazzling, beautiful, smart and alluring. I also wanted someone who was bright, who could tell stories and had a personality. So my profile had to reflect that I had those qualities.
Rule 4. Decide what is really important to you and stick to it. I started with the basic building blocks of mankind: two eyes, a nose and a mouth. But, then I whittled it down to Looks, Personality, Education, Solvent and Local. Don’t forget that!
Rule 5. Which brings me to my next point. Long distance relationships just don’t work. I would stick to a radius, of say 30 miles. Just far enough to get home safely after a night out, or to escape if things go pear-shaped. But these long-haul jaunts for example to Cornwall are soul destroying. At our age and stage, it’s very difficult to relocate, so my advice is don’t get started on that one. Look at Love Bug. Sad but sensible won the day.
Daisy write hilarious self help sections in the book. I couldn’t resist reproducing the following:
Dating Daisy’s Anti-snoring Tips
Ok, Ok. So it’s not romantic. End of.
He snores in a curiously enchanting way. Not a peep as he breathes in, but a cataclysmic earth shift as he tries to breathe out. It’s like the air trying to rush out of a leather balloon under pressure, a sort of suffocated pneumatic drill. Having said that, it pales to insignificance when you think about Voldemort, and Stuart too, and I actually don’t dislike it.
But he is worried about it, and too true, if it’s damaging his health, he needs to deal with it. So, I did my bit. Gave it my full attention.
I sat up and filled in the partner’s section on the snoring questionnaire. I couldn’t have tried harder. Where it said “partner’s name” I wrote Daisy, and it looked good, seeing my name on the paper next to his. Even if it was just a snoring questionnaire.
Now here apparently is the orthodontic solution – the Snore Guard. And it looks like it’s here to stay. Not ‘Marley and Me’ but ‘The Snore Guard and Me’, and I guess I just have to get used to it. (My sceptical self says the orthodontist has been watching too many horror movies, and has his heart set on a new Maserati, but heh ho! Who am I to cast aspersions?)
So, in all seriousness, if it stops the insidious sleep apnoea and the incipient heart failure and the probable premature death, not to mention it saves this relationship … its fine by me.
Really. Let’s just get our heads around it …’er, quite literally! …
So – The Snore Guard. It’s a Hannibal Lecter anti-snoring contraption. None other.
Designed to frighten off the nastiest of witches and vampires.Laura [email protected]