Dr Daisy

Your Personal Agony Aunt

Here to answer all your Contraception & Sexual Health, Menopause & Internet Dating queries!

November 08, 2017

Dear Daisy, I'm 51 and just found out my husband is having an affair...

Dear Daisy,

 

I'm 51 and just found out my husband is having an affair. I walked in on them having sex.We had been married 30 years.

I felt my world come crashing down.

 

Anyhow, I know I not the only woman in the world this has happened to. But I don't know what to do next. The future seems so bleak and lonely. 

I would like to meet someone, and I have thought about internet dating, but I'm really scared. I don't think anyone will want to date me, and that will be really humiliating

and I don't want anyone to see my photo.What can I do?

 

Heart broken,

 

Shirley

 

 

Dear Shirley,

 

Firstly I'm so sorry for the terrible shock you have had. As you say, this is incredibly common, but the pain is excruciating when it happens to you.

 

I'm interested to see that despite the complete desolation you have felt, you are thinking positively about the future. You have a lot of life ahead of you,

and I agree this is so much nicer shared by two. Internet Dating is a great idea for you. If you still need to deal with the pain of your marriage breakdown, do consider

whether you need some professional counselling.Time does help. But also when you are about to embark on a new relationship, you do need to be over the old one.

 

A few tips -

 

- Think about which site you might choose as they are all quite different.My own favourite is eHarmony as they take a lot of time asking you and your

prospective partners questions, and try to match people with similar characteristics/what they are looking for. 

- Make the best of YOU! Set a date to start say in 2-3 weeks time and have 2-3 week diet and fitness campaign so you feel good about yourself when you start.

- Get a friend to help you with the photograph. You can have a girlie evening trying on clothes with a glass of wine and make it fun! I really recommend the photograph.

To start with people don't click on others with no photo! And secondly, you need to know what they look like before you agree to meet them. Honestly, it will save a lot

of heartache in the future!

- Write a really good profile and take time over it. I was never going to click on anyone who couldnt write, spell, converse, express themselves, make an effort. So you

need to set a precedent!

 

I think moving on is essential for you, and internet dating gives you a really practical way to get started. You are not on your own - 7 million people in the UK are currently doing it!

 

I really wish you good luck!

 

Daisy x

 

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